Meet the Spartans
With the kids home, sarcasm and cheekiness won’t be in short supply. So, hey, grab a copy of Meet the Spartans. This spoof of last year’s 300 stars Sean Maguire and Carmen Electra as Sparta’s king and queen who oversee the ancient city’s effort to produce perfect little Spartan babies.

Semi-Pro
Will Ferrell enjoys a return to huge-haired, snug-shorted form. He stars as Jackie Moon, the goofy player/owner/coach of a bush league basketball franchise in the 1970s. Woody Harrelson and Andre Benjamin (of Outkast) co-star.

The Eye
The lovely Jessica Alba plays a blind violinist who receives the gift of sight thanks to an experimental surgery. And it was a perfect success — unless you count the fact that she can now see the horrors of the supernatural world. Parker Posey and Alessandro Nivola co-star.

Rambo
The baddest rogue green beret of them all is back…and a few decades off haven’t made him forget his training. Sylvester Stallone stars again as John Rambo, who travels to Thailand to rescue a group of missionaries kidnapped by local warlords.

Cleaner
Samuel L. Jackson stars a former cop who now cleans up the ickiest of all crime scenes. As if that weren’t bad enough, he might have just been (alongside Ed Harris and Eva Mendes) tricked into cleaning up the evidence in a sinister coverup.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Benjamin Franklin Gates (Nicholas Cage) is sharp with the maps and quick with the one-liners. And now he’s taking on his biggest challenge yet: uncovering the secrets of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln by finding missing pages from John Wilkes Booth’s diary.