Reno 911 Miami

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press,

On behalf of the Reno Sheriff’s Department, we would like to address the film entitled “Reno 911 Miami.” THIS FILM IS NOT ENDORSED IN ANY WAY BY THE RENO SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT.

We were told by the good people (pronounced: dirty liars) at Twentieth Century Fox that the documentary film about our trip to the National Police Convention in Miami Beach would be called: American Heroes: South Beach Edition.

Turns out this was classic Hollywood bullshit. The film that has been made from the footage of us is an outrageous web of lies. The brave men and women of the Reno Sheriff’s Department have been edited together in a way that makes us look like we’re brain damaged. (We, aren’t!)

YES, there were some unfortunate events that took place during our time in Miami. Yes, people got hurt. Yes, property got destroyed. And yes, one nude person and some passers-by got parts of an exploded narwhale on them.

But… the truth is: we also did a lot of good. And, none of us is sure it was really a narwhale. It might have been a sperm whale, or some other kind of whale.

We would also like to address the title of the film.

“Reno 911 Miami”

WTF? That must be the stupidest title in the history of cinema. That’s like calling something Las Vegas Justice Minneapolis. Or Philadelphia Emergency St. Louis. IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE.

If you understand the title, please call us, because we do not.

We urge you to tell the Fox and Twentieth Century Fox people to STOP THE LIES.

Your servant,

Lt. Jim Dangle, Reno Sheriff’s Department. Reno NV.

STARRING: Thomas Lennon, Ben Garant, Kerri Kenney, Cedric Yarbrough, Carlos Alazraqui, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Niecy Nash, Mary Birdsong, Paul Rudd, Nick Swardson
DIRECTOR: Ben Garant
STUDIO: 20th Century Fox
RATING: R (For sexual content, nudity, crude humor, language and drug use)

RENO 911 Triler

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